Funny how time flies.
It’s been nearly 2 years since I last made a post on this space. To devote time for making blog entries has been impossible for me. I have work. I play my online games. I do house stuff. I spend time with my dogs. Making blog entries wasn’t as easy as it used to be. I have other outlets for my thoughts and emotions now.
But some things never changed during that almost-two-year gap. Still single. Still listening to those same memory-provoking tunes. Still playing the same games. Still reading the same books. Still worrying. Sometimes I wonder if I changed at all.
And now I’m about to enter my final year of my 20’s. Yet I feel that I never really entered adulthood during the last ten-odd years. My thesis is still unfinished, albeit closer to the end than it ever was. Marriage and having a family is still a far-off dream (it doesn’t help that I’m not financially stable enough) while my peers are posting wedding photos and stuff. I still live with my dad.
But I learned that it’s okay.
To be fair, it doesn’t mean giving up. It just means that maybe, it isn’t my time yet. Love will happen to me, soon or 5 years later. There will come a time that I’ll own a house (or a living space). I’ll have those things I desire someday. Though this hasn’t spared me from feelings of envy and anxiety.
Then this current pandemic hit.
A lot of my plans (big and small) were torn to shreds by the pandemic. I always hated uncertainty, now I have to live with it night and day. The things I love to do, now impossible.
The isolation/distancing measures has also intensified the feelings of loneliness.
And seeing how the pandemic is being handled just made my fear and uncertainty worse, now coupled with anxiety and hopelessness.
It’s quite a thing to celebrate a birthday on a somber note. But I still hope for better days. The least I can do is to adapt and work to increase the chances of that hope being a reality.
At least, that’s what I hope I’d do.
Time to end this ramble. Maybe next time, it wouldn’t take nearly two years for me to return to this blog.
A Sudden Rush of Thoughts 